


Connor's Great Idea

by Luthienberen



Series: Connor to the Rescue! [1]
Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Fluff, First Time, Happy!AU, Humor, M/M, Mistletoe, Tennage!Clipper, Tennage!Connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-03 16:23:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2857295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luthienberen/pseuds/Luthienberen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drastic action is needed as he couldn’t bear it any longer. Something must be done. Connor will ensure it’s done. By the end of the day his father and Lee would be together if he had any say in the matter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Connor's Great Idea

**Author's Note:**

> **UPDATE 8th August 2016: Now beta-read by rae_fa – thank you so much! Any remaining mistakes are my own. Nothing major story wise bar spelling & grammar have changed.**
> 
> No spoilers for Rogue – just used characters! Not beta-read.
> 
> Short one-shot mainly for some cheerful Christmas celebrations.

****~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~** **

Connor had had enough. Truly, if he saw Uncle Lee gaze longingly at his father, or act as if he was the saviour of mankind one more time, _without_ his father acknowledging and kissing Uncle Lee he would climb a tree and not come down until it happened.

However, before he reached that extreme there was one last opportunity to fix things. If Uncle Lee wasn’t his father’s boyfriend by the end then his father was too stupid for words.

“Are you _sure_ this will work?” Clipper sounded sceptical.

Connor rolled his eyes, “Of course it will; it has too.” Sliding off his bed where they were sitting Connor checked his equipment. “You’re not the one who has to live with them. I swear Father is blind, because how can he miss Uncle Lee’s devotion is beyond me. I mean, if he’s as great as Uncle says you’d think he’d notice.”

Clipper snorted, “Adults are silly.”

“Definitely!”

“But if they’re together they might kiss in front of you. Gross.”

Connor grimaced. He had considered that, but… “Yeah, gross, but there are pros – I even made a list!” Pulling out his secret notebook from his school maths book, Connor flourished the paper.

Clearing his throat importantly he read:

_1.) I gain Uncle Lee as an extra dad and he’s been around since I’m four so he’s like my dad anyway._

_2.) Uncle Lee gave me a pirate birthday party for my 13 th birthday even though he hates pirates, Father disapproved but Uncle Lee talked him around. He usually does. So he can be cool occasionally._

_3.) Father and Uncle Lee buy house stuff together like a couple: food, bedding, my clothes and clothes for each other, awesome weapons etcetera. So why not be boyfriends? That way I don’t have to worry about Uncle Lee moving out._

“Or…marry?” interrupted Clipper. Connor wrinkled his nose, “Yeah that too. Now let me finish.”

_4.) I don’t have to live through soppy moments like Uncle Lee near worshipping my father or being jealous of anyone near him – apart from me of course._

_5.) Father loves Uncle Lee too, at least he acts like it. No one else can buy him stuff like clothes and he tolerates Uncle Lee’s obsession with Pomeranians, which works in my favour._

“How?” asked Clipper curiously.

“Why do you think we have five poms? And a cat? Uncle Lee convinced my father to let me have a cat – we’re getting one next month!”

“Wow, your father has gotta love Mr Lee. He always said no to you asking for a cat.”

“Yup, so point to me. Anyway-”

_6.) Lastly, Uncle Lee can ground me unlike my other uncles so further PROOF my father loves him. And while being grounded isn’t fun, Uncle Lee is much better than being grounded by my father._

 

Connor folded the paper with a grin.

“So you see, the pros are pretty okay and are obvious to anyone who isn’t my father.”

Clipper sighed, “I’m in. Friends don’t abandon each other. But if this doesn’t work we’re so grounded for life.”

Connor shook his head, “Nah, Uncle Lee will talk Father around.”

Jumping off the bed Clipper sneered, “If he can actually stop your father’s anger then your plan _has_ to work.”

“See? Perfect.”

“Hope so, living in a tree is not my idea of fun,” muttered Clipper as they sneaked out, bags in hand.

**~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~**

“Fancy a kiss Charlie?”

Charles frowned at his Templar brother, clutching the oven tray in his gloved hands. “What on earth are you talking about Thomas? Why should I kiss you?”

Thomas smirked and pointed above. Charles followed to see a bunch of mistletoe hanging above them, rather tackily attached.

“Who put that there?” Charles was baffled, Haytham didn’t approve of mistletoe so they never hung it up in the house much to Charles’ disappointment.

“The mistletoe fairy. Come on Charlie. Let me give ya a big kiss.”

“You must be joking!”

Thomas put a hand over his heart and declared with a dramatic air, “A member of the Inner Sanctum not honouring a pledge?”

Charles narrowed his eyes at his opportunistic friend. “As if such things held value to you Thomas. Very well, kiss me, but mind my tray full of gingerbread men – if they are knocked off you won’t have any.”

Thomas just laughed and leaning in Charles found a sloppy wet kiss smacked on him. Refusing to open his mouth Charles managed a quick peck on Thomas then leaned back. Thomas just winked and gestured to Charles’ mouth, “You might want to wipe your gob Charlie. Seems to be a bit messy.”

Charles growled, how infuriating. Eying the mistletoe as Thomas departed with a snigger, Charles made a mental note to remove it before Haytham saw it.

**~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~**

Clipper groaned from around the corner as he saw Mr Hickey leave. Raising his walkie-talkie he hissed, “Red Eagle, over, target missed. It was Mr Hickey instead.”

“Damn,” replied Connor, “Okay, move onto our next battle location. See you in five, over Red Fox.”

**~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~**

Charles had forgotten about the mistletoe incident temporarily as he walked into the living room with bowls of nuts, clementines and chocolate selections on another tray. Haytham was busy cooking the turkey for their Christmas dinner while Charles prepared the treats for outside their dinner.

Their guests had been ordered to sit and enjoy themselves. However, that didn’t stop Monro and Shay who had been cuddling and kissing on the sofa to leap up and offer assistance.

“No, please do sit. It’s no trouble.”

Monro laughed, “And it’s no trouble to help either. Haytham never need know.”

“He’ll be upset,” protested Charles with a sigh as Monro lifted up the bowl of clementines while Shay was already putting the nuts on the low table in the middle of a circle of chairs and two sofas.

Shay waved a dismissive hand as he plopped back on the couch, “Haven’t I told you Charles? I make my own luck and it’s never failed me yet.”

“Yes I know,” said Charles sourly, “and if you mention ‘I make my own luck’ one more time I shall…”

“Ah,” interrupted Monro, “it seems we are under a branch of mistletoe. I didn’t know you liked such frivolous additions.”

Again? Thought Charles. What is going on? Staring up in disbelief Charles asked the most obvious question, “How did you not notice it being put up?”

Shay smirked while Monro coughed delicately.

“We were busy,” offered Shay. “George is being a perfect gentleman and I’m trying to break that a little.”

Monro just smiled and his voice was that wonderfully patient and kind flow that made one feel welcomed and encouraged, “Well as the case may be, shall we respect tradition?”

Charles wanted to sink into the floor, but at least Monro was better than Thomas. Checking with Shay who just nodded, Charles leant forward, clutching his tray as a shield. Monro met him and it was rather nice, like the man: gentle, sweet yet firm and self-assured.

Flushed Charles murmured “Thanks” and quickly put down the chocolates leaving in a flurry. After his next job he would take down this little plant before Haytham caught on.

**~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~**

Connor gnashed his teeth in frustration. Seriously? Where was his father. He always seemed to pop up when Connor wanted to be alone, but naturally when his father was a vital part of their plan he was nowhere to be found.

“Red Fox, we have zero contact. Must move in to enemy headquarters!”

“Aw crap.”

“Careful Red Fox, if Black Pom overhears you swearing we won’t be able to use our consoles later.”

“What about Silver Cat?”

“We’ll be stuck writing the origins of the word, ‘cause ‘words are power’.”

“Okay, so your two dads are crazy Red Eagle. Let’s finish before Silver Cat catches us.”

**~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~**

“Oh Charles, have you seen Robert?”

Charles glanced up at Elizabeth Pitcairn who was hovering in the kitchen entrance with a worried smile.

Charles quite liked Elizabeth. Any woman who could call to heel four daughters and six sons with barely a raised eyebrow had his firm respect. She was also indispensable to John who loved her fiercely and protectively.

“No, he’s not with the others or Connor and Clipper?”

“No, unfortunately not. My children are in the games room. I think Connor and Clipper escaped for some alone time. They may have felt overwhelmed.”

Charles pulled off his oven gloves and walked over to Elizabeth hugging her while slightly worried for Connor. The boy was anxious when surrounded by too many people who touched without asking, but he thought him improved now he knew John’s clan better. Oh well, he’d discuss it later with Connor, he loved the boy like his own and didn’t wish him to be upset.

“I’m sure Robert is well. I think we can guess he is in the basement with John and William, probably tinkering over John’s latest toy – trains wasn’t it?”

Elizabeth chuckled, “Of course. I had forgotten.” She stepped away and rolled her head, glancing up as she did. A sudden spark in her blue eyes made Charles pause.

“Elizabeth?”

“Hush Charles.” With a teasing grin she abruptly kissed him chastely on the lips. Then winking she departed, “Don’t tell my husband you rogue!”

Astonished Charles looked up and hissed with anger. Oh for goodness sake. Did this stuff have magical powers of reproduction? They were swarming the house!

“Thomas, I shall hunt you down and give you a hiding with my tongue.” Pulling the chair over Charles removed the offending plant, shaking his head. He had to move fast ere Haytham discovered the mistletoe infestation and demanded answers NOW.

**~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~**

Clipper shifted nervously. This was insane. If this didn’t work, grounding would be the least of their problems.

Connor was equally nervous, but his friend was clearly determined, so Clipper had to help even when only suffering could result for them.

“Are you sure Connor?”

Connor looked grim, “Yes, he’s the only likely Uncle who might be deemed plausible by Father as a threat. And the kitchen was a flop. How can Father choose that one moment to not hang in ‘his’ realm is beyond me.”

“Seems harsh really on your uncle.”

“Nah, Father will be too busy kissing Uncle Charles and boom! I have a dad and peace from worshipping eyes.”

Clipper shrugged, “Well, as you say nothing else has worked. I’ll lure your Uncle to the store cupboard, you bring your father.”

Connor solemnly shook his hand, “May the Father of Understanding Guide you.”

“And you – whatever that means.”

“Father and Uncle Lee swear by it.”

“Strange people,” and with that they parted.

**~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~**

Charles bent down to see further into their rather full store cupboard. Food was practically bursting off the shelves. He was retrieving the jam for the Victoria Sponge he had baked, since not one expat Brit even wished to contemplate Christmas Pudding.

“Hey Charles, Clipper said you needed help?”

Surprised Charles turned to see Christopher Gist standing behind, a glass of brandy in his right hand.

“I didn’t ask Clipper to fetch assistance, however now I think about it…Yes, could you carry the spare bags of nuts into the kitchen? That way I won’t have to go back and forth all the time. And um, the sugar and ginger for further gingerbread men.”

“No problem, but first things first my old boy,” commented Christopher cheerfully. With his spare left hand he pulled Charles to him and kissed him. Charles almost choked and tried to fend Christopher off to only have for his efforts a chuckle and a murmur, “Mistletoe Charles, mistletoe, you know the rules.”

_I’m going to kill Thomas!_

Realising the futilely Charles relaxed and Christopher grinned happily. He kissed again, strong firm lips seeking a rather deeper kiss than Charles considered necessary. It was quite nice, no, make that rather delightful so Charles decided to gain some pleasure from this farce.

His pleasure lasted all of ten seconds ere Christopher literally vanished. Bewildered Charles opened his eyes to see Haytham’s back as he snarled, “What were you doing Gist?”

Fury laced Haytham’s voice, his normally cool demeanour shattered. Christopher was getting back to his feet, brandy spilled on the carpet but thankfully the glass unbroken.

He was luckily sensible enough not to become angry in return and hastily explained, “The mistletoe Sir. The kiss meant nothing.”

“I am sure.” Haytham looked up to see the offending plant then at Charles, turning so he could still keep an eye on Christopher.

“Why have you put mistletoe up Charles?” There was suspicion and accusation in the Grandmaster’s voice. Hurt and anxious Charles decided to tell the truth, “It’s not me Sir – Haytham. Mistletoe has been placed all around the house today. I think it’s Thomas.”

“Nah, can’t be,” protested Christopher, “he’s been with me most of the day.”

_What? Then who?_ “Then I can’t say Haytham, but I did not purposefully set out to kiss our guests.”

Guilt mixed with relief swam briefly over Haytham’s face. “Indeed, I am sorry for my misplaced anger. Gist, my apologies for my behaviour.”

“No problem, I’ll head off then.” Christopher did a hasty exit leaving Charles under observation. The cold grey eyes of his friend assessed him, probably seeing swollen lips and flushed cheeks.

Something passed in those eyes and Charles watched tensely as Haytham stepped right up to him and raised a hand. Calloused fingers traced his mouth and moustache. Then bending slightly Haytham spoke, his breath ghosting across his face, “Perhaps Charles a kiss will pardon my unjust actions?”

Charles thought he might faint. His voice was failing him, but he succeeded in whispering, “Yes I think so.”

Haytham smiled and he was handsome as always, eyes warm. Lips caressed his, warm and gentle before increasing in pressure so Charles was opening up eager to return the favour.

Haytham slipped his arms around him and Charles did the same and licked at Haytham’s lips. He was drowning in pleasure, the single thought that this was hardly true yet it had to be, the Grandmaster…Haytham was kissing him, ardently and oh…

Haytham nipped at his lips, slipping his tongue in and ravishing. Charles wanted it to last forever so reality wouldn’t intrude. Alas, Haytham withdrew a touch, his lips swollen and expression hungry.

“I believe Charles I haven’t been too clever. Will you forgive me and perhaps after some more kissing we can discuss our situation more leisurely.”

He wasn’t an idiot so Charles mumbled, “Yes, most certainly. About more kisses?”

Haytham chuckled and recommenced. Charles’ final sensible thought was that whoever was responsible for the mistletoe would be receiving the best Christmas present he could afford.

**~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~**

Connor and Clipper grinned at each other and retreated to Connor’s bedroom. Shutting the door carefully they high-fived before Connor shouted as quietly as possible, “We did it Clipper! Father isn’t as stupid as we feared!” Jumping up and down Connor was exuberant that his plan had achieved their goals. Who knew what they could accomplish next?

“Now I have a dad and a father! And no more suffering from oblivious fathers and besotted uncles”

Clipper, “Yes. Let’s celebrate with the chocolates I liberated!”

“How?” Connor flung himself on his bed along with Clipper. Clipper dragged out a box from his bag and opened the lid. Together they dug in, eating happily.

“Mr Cormac allowed me.”

“He’s great like that,” said Connor raising an orange chocolate. Clipper copied with a truffle, “To us, the Red Fox and Eagle Team.”

“May the Father of Understanding Guide us!” they chorused and ate their chocolates.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I may not like Christmas pudding so leaked that into the fic. *cough* Apologies to all who _do_ like the pud!


End file.
